The Perfectly Imperfect Human Being
I remember a summer some years ago. I had just started teaching yoga in my Dutch hometown (Zeist). I felt so stoked and pumped and proud about it! Getting paid for what I loved to do most? I couldn’t believe it! I worked hard and took my new job seriously (dûhhh).
Corona on the go
On a random Saturday my partner and I went to the grocery store to get some goodies for the weekend. Snacks, fruits, sparkling water and a six pack of refreshing Corona’s. On our way back Dillon carried the shopping bag while I took the beers. As soon as we started walking I asked him to switch. He surprisingly asked me why and I had to admit that walking through town with those beers in my hand made me feel not at ease! I imagined my students looking at me “Lotte: the yoga teacher during the day and a beer-drinking party animal at night!” (Obviously this story was just playing in my head). It made me feel so uncomfortable. Dillon laughed and told me to stop acting ridiculous. He was right!
Stop kidding yourself
Who was I kidding? Thinking back of this situation I feel compassion and laughter for myself. It came from a good heart, I was so eager to be ‘the perfect’ yoga teacher!
Soon after this event I checked in with myself. I was a chaotic but fun and light-hearted girl. How important was it for me to be a serious yoga teacher? Well, maybe it wasn’t so important at all! And so I came to the conclusion that I value joy & lightness so much over being serious & flawless.
This little investigation made it easier for me to say yes or no to certain things. I wasn’t afraid anymore of what other people – or yogis – would think of my decisions. I started to live more in line with MY values. This included embracing my own messiness and even sharing bits and pieces with the world. And you know what? I am pretty sure that the universe doesn’t judge me for feeling free and good.
what I teach is what I most need to learn.
YESS I put a lot of hours in creating epic shit but YESS I sometimes misbehave and dance on tables.
YESS I preach healthy eating habits and YESS I sometimes stuff my face with chocolate and red wine.
YESS I am an advocate of self-love but YESS I still sometimes can’t stand my hairy arms and fleshy ties.
YESS I teach yoga and mindfulness but YESS I am still the most impatient person on earth.
These dualities – good versus bad or light versus dark - maybe aren’t dualities at all. It's all part of the bigger picture. We must honor all of us: the madness AND consciousness. Maybe that’s just how it should be.
I realised that what I teach is what I most need to learn. And that is OKAY. I am a human. We are all human. And that is OKAY.
I dare to say that the universe is even more on my side since I stopped taking myself, my job AND my spiritual practice too seriously. My life is fun and frantic and I am honest and open, no matter what job or position. I have no interest in becoming the Buddha and I truly believe that being human is the most spiritual thing you and I can do.
Inspire the world with being you
Owning and fully loving yourself is totally more inspiring to the world than performing a flawless asana practice or a two hour meditation session without loosing focus. How cool would it be if we could love ourselves fully, despite the fact that sometimes thoughts and actions make us feel like hypocrites or fakes. Are we? Or are we human? We are all perfectly imperfect. We are all human as fuck.
Are you curious for more? My podcasts The Conscious Junkie Show I share a lot more about "dualities" or as I call it: real shit.