My body is My body and your body is your body.
I feel embarrassed to bring my thoughts around this subject - body image - into the world because it's not nice. It's superficial and plastic but I can't ignore my thoughts and feelings any longer. I've noticed that the more I try to shut them down, the stronger and more aggressive they become. So forgive me if this triggers you in any way. That's not what I want at all. Please remember that you are beautiful, no matter what anyone else says.
When I meet someone (new) at yoga, in a bar or somewhere else thoughts and labels instantly pop up: "He's too fat, too skinny, too muscly or too fake." Or I compare myself: "Her legs are more beautiful, she has bigger boobs or a softer skin." I also give credits to let's say women with abs that show, look skinny or have a spotless face. If it comes to men I like wide shoulders and strong & toned arms for both men and women.
The point is though that I don't want to judge anyone based on their appearance or body. I don't want to look at someone and them put them in the pretty or ugly box, it's ridiculous! Real beauty isn't about weight or symmetry. In my heart I know that a happy, smiling face that expresses kindness is the most beautiful thing on earth.
The Stupid Internet
I think it's terrible how magazines, tv show's and (especially!) Instagram accounts are ruled by thin, sexy (says who) and toned bodies. Yess, they are beautiful but it's not realistic to look that way. These images and bodies now seem to be the norm and more and more (young) people get stressed and depressed over it. Speaking for myself I quite often feel less about myself after having scrolt down the Insta feed.
The Inner Bitch
When it comes to my own body my inner critic is a real bitch! There have been times that I was completely happy and confident with how I looked but now all of a sudden I betray myself on super critical thoughts. When I look in the mirror I am not fully loving my body. When the fuck did this happen? I don't know. What I do know is that I am practicing shit tons of yoga and teach others how to accept themself but still...
Just lately I stood on a scale and my weight shocked me. I don't like that my legs are bigger then they used to be and I'm dreaming of the flat tummy I once had. Can I switch this critical voice off please?
Feeling Good over Looking Good
We all know that how we feel is much more important than how we look. And overal I feel full of energy, strong and healthy. Besides that I definitely have an attitude of gratitude for everything my body accomplishes on a daily base. These critical thoughts though, they make me feel sad. I don't want to think them!
A happy, smiling face that expresses kindness is the most beautiful thing on earth.
Honestly, I want to come to a point where I fully accept and love my body (again). I want my inner Angel to take over because she's so loving, caring and understanding!
Time for Change
So, I am welcoming change! I want to stop comparing and judging myself and/to others. I want to heal this part of me! The inner bitch has become so loud over the past months but I figured that a good old "Bitch Fight" doesn't work. In fact, she becomes meaner and louder! It made me decide to flip the script: I am inviting the Angel in while gently guiding the Bitch out!
Back to the Present
We all perceive our experience in our bodies in different ways. We all need to remember though that we are so much more than just a sum of our parts. We are whole. And we are already good enough! Whenever we find ourself judging our bodies we should try to get back to the present moment. Back to appreciation and gratitude.
For me it starts with accepting what is. Which I really try now! The next step is to invite space for change and newness in my life. If not, then hopefully at least someone - who's a little bit like me - won't feel alone in this anymore.
The Power of Sharing
Bringing my struggle into the world already feels like a great relieve and step into the right direction! I am sure that me and my body are not the only one who are struggling with this. Right? I will try to be patience and from now on curiously observe my thoughts and feelings about my own body and the bodies of others. We're all beautiful!
I'm not my hair, I'm not my skin, I am the soul that lives within